March 31, 2011
I got back from Zambia Tuesday afternoon and am trying to
catch up on life, work and everything else. I'm jet-lagged enough that I
haven't done any serious "what now" thinking yet. I look forward to
telling stories at some point. Until then I'll leave you with the journal entry
I wrote on my last flight - from Atlanta to Memphis.
"As reentry rapidly approaches my mind is
filled with a variety of thoughts, mostly centered around praise to your
glorious Name. It is by your grace that I have made it through every step of
this journey. There were 8 flight segments in all - all of which worked out
beyond seamlessly. There was always food to eat and water to drink. You
provided friends and guides through uncharted territories for me. I witnessed
your glory through the mountains of CO, through the canyons and parks out west,
through the people of Zambia, through Victoria Falls, and countless sunrises
and sunsets. You have been evident and near each and every day. I see your
faithfulness O God, I see it.
I do not feel like I have all the answers,
maybe not even any answers. But I do feel very reassured of your faithfulness,
very grounded in who you are, and am rejoicing in your truth."
May 22, 2011
It's hard to believe I've been home from Zambia
for two months. If this decision were the proverbial fence I have been on all
sides of it, including crawling in a hole and hiding from it. Some weeks I have
felt like I'm moving, no question about it. Other weeks I have wondered why on
earth I would consider giving up the comforts and community that I have here in
Memphis. Is this a work God is really calling me to?
So of course, I have created logical steps to
follow in order to make this decision, in hopes that God will slowly get my
heart to a place of accepting whatever the decision ends up being. I've been
seeking wisdom from trusted friends as the chance comes along, taking time to
reflect/journal/read with this decision in mind once a week, put some hard
questions out to the Zambian mission leaders and got no red flags in response,
met with other supporters of the work and have started a budget plan.
I had hoped to make a decision before the
summer got going. However, I think that's going to be way too stressful. I'm
going to give it time and see where God takes my heart. I think the busy nature
of the summer may be good for this process in a way.
Whenever you think about it, I'd love for you
to pray for these things specifically:
*for me to be fully present in youth ministry
this summer
*for God to lead my heart to a peaceful
resolution on Zambia over the next few months (ie. a burning passion I can't
forget or a giant red flag that says don't go)
August 18, 2011
As I look back at what I wrote at the end of
May I can see God's work in answering prayers.
Whenever you think about it, I'd love for
you to pray for these things specifically:
*for me to be fully present in youth
ministry this summer
*for God to lead my heart to a peaceful
resolution on Zambia over the next few months (ie. a burning passion I can't
forget or a giant red flag that says don't go)
It was a great WSYG summer for me. I feel more
connected to a variety of kids than I have in several years. I'm even getting
to know the jr high kids better and that's been really fun. So I definitely
feel like I was and am fully present in the youth ministry.
I think I have a peaceful
resolution on Zambia. I'm not ready to completely shut the door because it's my
only option, but that's the only reason I'm still considering it. I of course
loved my time in Ghana this June and realized how much I love that country
after being in Zambia. There is just an incredible spirit about the people of
Ghana - even the strangers you meet. I feel so much more peaceful when I think
about going to Ghana, I think it's because I already know people there and feel
like I would at least have a small network of friends.
The whole financial aspect is becoming a little
more real and scary to me in this economy. I know God's economy is bigger than
mine, but not many churches are getting new missionaries right now.
I'm growing weary of hearing myself think and
talk about this and am ready to do something. Just don't know what that is.
So in review ... I like my current ministry. I
still long for Africa and feel like that is what God has prepared me for. I
would like to go to Ghana, but have nowhere to go work.
I think I would like you to pray specifically
that God would prepare a place for me in Ghana.
November 17th,
2011
As for Africa, I am waiting and watching.
I would love to know what’s going to happen but I am at peace with waiting you
out. Lay it out before me when it is time.
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