They say life is a journey.
That is most assuredly what I feel like I’ve been on for the past few
years. When I started visiting the
Village of Hope I remember thinking, “I love this place, but I could never live
here.” Over time my love for that place has grown deeper and deeper. But a year
and a half ago my love started growing wider as well.
After my trip to Ghana in
2009, I was an emotional wreck. I could not stop thinking about a homeless
orphaned baby that I had never even met. My heart was breaking for that child
and I was ready to take go back and get him. I even went so far as to email
adoption agencies in Ghana to see what the options were. After that situation
worked out through many prayers (the grandparents showed up to care for the
child) I was left with a lot of emotions to sort out. After 3 or 4 months I
finally landed with the following conclusions in conversations with God (from
my prayer journal): 1. You want me to be passionately praying for the people of
Africa. Period. That’s it. Be a righteous woman fighting on behalf of these
children. 2. Maybe you are
preparing me to move to Africa in 10 or 20 years. 3. You are preparing my heart for international adoption. 4.
Maybe you are preparing me to do some non-profit work raising sponsorships and
awareness here in the U.S.
These options were enough to
settle my mind in patient prayer. My interactions with friends in Ghana
increased a lot over that year as Facebook and phone communications became more
readily available. Since that time I think it is fair to say that a day has not
passed where I did not think about, pray for or communicate with one of my
Ghanaian friends.
Now back to that love that
is growing deep and wide … My heart has been expanding to have concern for
people all over the continent, not just the ones that I know. It seems like
resources, organizations, blogs and books about Africa are finding me
regularly. I have spent many hours thinking about effective ministry and
missionary theology. What is best for the native people there? What good could
I do that a native African could not do? Is it better to adopt or to move
there? What about my family and friends here? What can a single female do as a
missionary? What church would support me? What if I can’t handle it? Most of
those questions remain unanswered. What I do know is that these thoughts and
questions are not going to go away. I never imagined myself doing anything
other than youth ministry, so I believe it is the heart of God leading me down
this path. I remember when I was on the forever-long search for a youth
ministry position my peace was in the knowledge that when I delight in God, He
will give me passions and a way to use them. It feels like the same thing is
happening. I desperately want to find my delight in God and it feels like He is
moving my passions to mission work.
The next step on this
journey is just around the corner. I am planning to go to Zambia in March. My purpose is to visit a missionary couple there
that is interested in having some additional help. They are currently working
with a Bible college and want some help in getting some humanitarian programs
off the ground. My passion lies in orphan care of some form. So, my goal is to
go there, see the work being done, and find out if there is work for me to do
there. I have no idea what will come of it, but feel confident that this is a
good next step.
I need your prayers. This is something I desperately
want and deeply fear all at the same time. Perhaps this journey will lead me to
living in Africa or perhaps it will lead me right back to youth ministry. What
I do know is that this journey makes me feel alive in Christ and very dependent
on his grace each day. I want to be a part of carrying His Name to the ends of
the earth.
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