May 11, 2010
The past year has been such a journey of emotions
regarding your calling on my life. I still love the students and feel like I am
effective with that. I, however, do not know what to do with all my emotions
surrounding Africa. I love orphans. I love Ghanaian culture. What I don’t know
is if I love more than just the Ghanaian culture. What about Liberia? Togo?
Tanzania? Kenya? Uganda?
What are you dreaming Lord? I want to dream your
dreams and to live life in the river of your Kingdom. I want to be so caught up
in your Kingdom desires that I get lost and there is only you that remain.
May 17th, 2010
I am so very thankful for every single day that I get
to spend here in Ghana. It is exhausting because it takes me so long to go to
sleep, but so worth it. Lord, I have no idea if I could do this long term or
not. When I am weak I am strong in you, so maybe that would be the way to make
it happen!
August 10th,
2010
I loved every moment in Ghana. I love those kids.
God, I just don’t know how to tell if my feelings about Ghana are the same as
everyone else’s or if they are special. Is it the same love everyone else has
or is it you moving my heart somewhere else? If you are thinking about Africa
or Ghana, what would/could I do? I would love to be a youth minister there, but
I have much to learn culturally before that happens. I don’t know how to move
off center where these emotions are concerned. I have had this conversation in
my mind for a year now. I am fine with waiting. But I don’t want to wait out of
fear of finding the truth.
August 29th,
2010
Thursday morning was coffee with Jim. That was a
really good conversation – so filled with emotion again though. We talked about
Africa a lot. My feelings and thoughts are all over the page, but it sounded
like all of my “maybe nots” are just fears. God, I know it is more overwhelming
than anything I can imagine, but I am really starting to think this is
something I want to do and I feel like maybe you are leading me to do it. I
don’t think it’s because I am tied of youth ministry or running away from
something here. It is still scary to think about, but also exciting.
August 31st,
2010
Lord, I ask that you will prepare a place and a work
for me in Africa. When the time comes, please give me courage to go. I am kind
of astounded by those words, but I mean them. There, I said it.
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